Ron McCaulay is workplace diversity manager for Google Inc. in Mountain View.
With Martin Luther King day in the rearview mirror and Barack Obama in the White House, it’s easy to forget that racism is still an issue that haunts us in the United States. Fortunately here at Google we’re taking a moment out of our day to re-affirm our commitment to diversity in the workplace.
Whether you’re a black Harvard grad or a Chicano Princetonian, rest assured you’ll find a place at Google, where we are working hard to re-create the world that Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of, right here in our workplace.
That’s right. Google is an equal opportunity employer regardless of the color of your skin–as long as you went to an elite private school and qualify as an unthinking technocrat who worships totalitarian technology companies like Google.
We’re serious when we say our workplace is diverse. Over 66% of our workforce in 2010 was a visible minority on the outside and an uncritical consumerist drone on the inside. To show we’re serious, Google plans to continue using Google Doodles featuring the likeness of great multicultural labor heroes like Cesar Chavez and Diego Rivera while ignoring any of their political and social ideals that run contrary to our profit motive. Their images will continue to appear periodically on our homepage in order to celebrate our commitment to a multicultural future in which for-profit corporations control most of the planet.
Every day at Google, we review thousands of resumes from mindless capitalist drones with degrees in computer science from Stanford and Carnegie Mellon. Which is why if you tour the Google campus, you’ll see men and women of all different colors and creeds, all of them privileged children of elite private universities who believe the path to progressivism involves buying things.
From all of us here at Google, we’re proud to celebrate diversity. And we will continue to use the imagery and language of diversity to increase our profit margins and celebrate the capitalist multicultural heroes of yesteryear.