PALO ALTO–Stanford University’s Admissions office celebrated the success of recent graduate Scott Anselmo ’09, who after graduating successfully fulfilled his life goal of making money.
“Stanford University is proud to celebrate another graduate fulfilling the promise of a Stanford education–by making money,” said Garth Saloner, dean of the Stanford School of Business. “From the moment students arrive, our curriculum works hard to try to instill them with a good sense of what’s important in life–money, mostly.”
Stanford’s homepage was updated to feature a collage of pictures of Anselmo’s life at Stanford. “Scott Anselmo came to Stanford dreaming of making the world a better place, and left secure in his knowledge that making money is the highest goal to which one can aspire,” the copy said.
Anselmo, 25, works in management at a successful start-up and has a salary of $250,000 plus bonuses, qualifying him as a success in the eyes of the administration and his fellow classmates.
“I can’t believe I finally did it,” said the wealthy Anselmo. “I feel like I’ve fulfilled my ultimate purpose in life.
“I don’t really know what else to do now,” he continued. “I guess I should probably make more.”